The End is Near

[Dark Heart21]

Have you ever felt your ego get inflated by your inner struggle for a sense of self worth and purpose. I was a middle school kid with little knowledge of the ego or what harm an inflated sense of the self could secretly do to my self esteem. It all stated with an idea i thought could change the world for the better. This sounds narcissistic even for a kid. The ego I would soon learn is the main gateway to the realm of the supernatural. Once you give yourself a reason for thinking you are special and truly believe it for an extended period of years especially when your young, your ego will feed on this reason until you no longer believe to be so. This was the beginning of the end for me. I was shattered when I found out my inner struggle for being which was based on an idea I thought would change the world didn’t work. I was lost without purpose and my once inflated sense of self worth and ego was hungry and ready to devour anything that made me feel whole and special again. During the same time I was fixed on my appearance and how I looked. It was an obsession for perfection that was unattainable for years and also stemmed on a feeling of self worth that I couldn’t achieve. In 2013 things took a turn for the worst. That summer one day I felt the need to change my hair style and so I brushed my hair to the sides not realizing that my new obsession was to look like Jesus. It may seem strange but I felt despicable like that look didn’t belong to me. This obsession turn to disaster as my ego was striving to attain this new sense of self worth and identity by making me think that if I can look like Christ I must be special in some way. It felt like a scary movie looking back because my ego which lived in my unconscious mind wanted to achieve this new sense of perfection the only way it knew how which was by making me believe it to be so. There should be a warning in scary movies: Don’t me mix the ego with the supernatural because they don’t mix well. Long story short my previously inflated ego took control of my life and obliterated everything in it by manipulating me into fusing with God and inviting demonic entities into my life through the gateway of my unconscious mind. This may not make clear sense but basically my ego resolved my obsession with the idea of perfection in appearance by manipulating me into fusing with god just so that I could be completely at peace in looking like him. There is a reason for why you shouldn’t mix the mind with the supernatural. God saw my intention for fusing with him as betrayal because before I had asked him while being manipulated by the ego into asking him to “love the the world through me” as a genuine reason for fusion. They say nobody can consciously betray God and they are right, but the ego which lives in the unconscious mind can and if given a reason to, can and will betray God by any means necessary to get what it wants time and time again which ultimately is to take control of you. After I fell after fusing with God I was bombarded with negative entities influencing my behavior and my brain felt like I was on something not physical but otherworldly. The repercussions of my action to betray god could only have been prevented if I had kept my ego in check. Making me believe that I could look like Jesus  to achieve some form of special sense of self worth produced by the ego was the very beginning of the end for me. Not knowing who and what I am now is only a part of it. Even to this day I remember the words from my computer saying “he is risen” after I fused with god and my own words a day later saying “he is unleashed” after a great battle between heaven and hell in my body was won by evil forces that plague me to this very day. What this means in the sense of the end times I may never know until it happens but what I do know it’s that when you mix the supernatural and the unconscious mind especially the ego you get mixed realities that make you question what’s real and what isn’t.

[Keith J. Clark]

Hi there, thank you for sharing your story here. I can resonate with much of what you've said. Once one lets go of go its almost like you have to simply start over again and define who you are as a person.

My best to you for the holidays!

Keith